a world without texas

2003-05-18T18:58:00.000-04:00

her prom sucked so fucking bad. so fucking bad.

i don't even feel like listing specific complaints. other than the fact that i can't kiss her in public. she wouldn't stay awake long enough to say goodnight.

fuck this, i don't feel like typing.

i feel like a crotchety old man. i'm gonna go yell at cars.

2003-05-15T09:50:00.000-04:00

i was beautiful.

i was talking to Cristal last night. i said all the right things, i danced a little bit, dipped her. i was fucking beautiful.

i even had a great goodbye.

"goodbye red wound"

fucking beautiful. i am so going to seduce her at her prom.

2003-05-14T16:49:00.000-04:00

Cristal wants me to take her to the prom. wouldn't be an issue if she had asked me, say, a month ago. she asked me last night. with a week until the prom. lucky me. i really want to help make this night perfect too, because i need to prove to her that i am a great guy.

anyways, she wants me to look hot. and to wear a top hat. so, i'm calling places all over the city looking for one.

here are my ideas for clothes:

black tie, pink button down shirt, black suit coat, black punk shorts (ripped, hanging below the knee), black top hat, artfully done eyeliner

white tie, black pants, black shirt, black coat, artfully done eyeliner, black top hat

nothing.

2003-05-14T12:05:00.000-04:00

this week sucks.

got kicked out of my house yesterday. spent the night at my mom's. actually slept really good. my ex-girlfriend tells me i need to be a man. then she joked about being pregnant.

her mom is going to type me up a resume as soon as i can write out my references and all that jazz. that should help. also, Cristal's (aforementioned ex-girlfriend) dad has said that i can stay with him for a while. i'm really amazed at this. i mean, i fucked his daughter and he's being nice to me? still, not going to complain. never look a gift horse in the mouth.

woke up late today. really needed to get out and look for a job, but, too late for that.

anyways, i've got to get Jenni to stop calling Cristal. they don't get along and Jenni keeps calling there to find me.

i am so fucking horny. i need to get laid. i was in bed with Cristal yesterday. she was all rubbing up against me and asking when was the last time i jacked off (2 weeks). i think she's intentionally torturing me. probably because i used to tease her so now she's turning the tables. curses.

i guess i'll explain Cristal and i's relationship.

we started going out about a year ago. then she cheated on me and broke up with me. then we got back together towards the end of the summer. oh, while we were broken up, we still made out and had sex and hung out together. now, we're broken up again and i've been relegated back to a good friend. also, i'm taking her to her prom. i was the second choice, after her best friend, Rita.

2003-05-12T14:26:00.000-04:00

click here

just thought i'd try to score some points with some suckers. thanks always.

2003-05-12T14:17:00.000-04:00

i did DXM again. bad idea.

it was me, tony, and jenni. we were wandering around. walked to BioLife just to find out that i can't donate there anymore. great news. just fucking perfect. so, we had to walk downtown, where jenni proceeded to attempt to secure us some cash for food and alcohol. didn't work. not even close.

so, we were fucked. walked to God's Kitchen for lunch. got there early. had to wait like 3 hours to eat. during the wait, we met this (s)he named Cedric/Diva. (s)he was pretty cool, invited us to a party that (s)he was busy making flyers for.

so, we headed back to the library and made the fuckin' flyers. mine looked really cool.

it had a skull and stars on it.

then we went back to God's Kitchen with Cedric/Diva and got some lunch. Cedric/Diva left with a friend to do something, so we decided to go to Purple East and check out the smokeshop. it was fucking awesome. they had this one bong i wanted. it was all hooked up to a gasmask and shit. i want a gasmask so fucking bad. look fucking awesome.

anyways, back to the story. then we went back to God's Kitchen, couldn't find Cedric/Diva or his/her sister (Amanda). we decided to just walk to where they said their house was and find them. so, we did. eventually got there. ran into Cedric/Diva outside. (s)he let us in, where we chilled for a couple minutes until (Amanda) took us aside and explained that Cedric/Diva wanted to suck one of our dicks.

now neither Tony nor i were up to that particular track. so Jenni ended up taking Cedric/Diva out to look for a guy while (Amanda), Tony and i cleaned up for the party. we did an awesome job.

god, i'm writing like a 6 year old.

fuckin' jinkies!

anyways, back to the story. cleaning took a long fucking time and was very hot. like 80 degrees inside. horrid. i can hear the background beats for a radiohead song! that's fucking insane! story so far: fucked, fucking cool. Jenni comes back with Cedric/Diva and then Cedric/Diva leaves for dinner. Jenni and i talk about doing some DXM. we don't have any money, so Jenni decides to suck some guys dick for $25. it doesn't happen.

i just realized that yesterdays entry came in just a bit ago. crazy. anyways, from there we ended up yelling at the YMCA (talkin' bout the YMCA-hay), not getting alcohol, and getting asked to leavve by a crazy old roomate. things sucked. went to Cristal's and slept in Theresea's van with Andy, who smoked me down.

next morning, we got up and walked over to the park, where we ate some cereal that Tony had stolen. NAUGHTY TONY. it was good. i went to sleep on the bench. Jenni tried to have sex. Tony say no. they woke me up and we went to Aquinas to get some water.

no water in the first building, so we walked to the auditorium/gym thingy. got some water there. then, as we were leaving, we pass a van with some money on the front seat and an unlocked door. looks like about $40. Jenni and i go on ahead a bit and Tony grabs the cash. counted it, $120. amazing.

so we go to D&W and buy 2 boxes of Coricidin.

then, we go to Eastown where Jenni calls Nate to come pick us up. while waiting for Nate, Tony and i are offered a job doing some painting. pays $500 a week. sweet. Nate shows up and we head out to Nate's house in Rockford.

there, Jenni, Nate, and i take the Coricidin. Jenni takes half a box, Nate takes half a box and i take a full box. we sit around for a while without feeling anything, so we head over to Prevo's to get some Robitussin.

we get there, smoke cigarettes, get the Robitussin, get some munchies, leave. on the way back, Nate pukes out the window because he feels sick (the Coricidin kicking in). we make it back to Nate's and promptly head to the basement, crankin' up some MSI.

Nate starts feeling the DXM bigtime. so does Jenni. i feel nothing. i decide to drink some of the Robitussin. i drink half a bottle, then Jenni drinks the other half. Jenni turns red, and presses her face into the floor. i drink the 2nd bottle. Jenni starts getting weird and rolls around. i feel a little bit, but not much.

Nate starts to enjoy the high. refers to DXM as his favorite drug. elements of the high are discussed. it is determined that invisible faces make for strange events. Jenni pukes in the bag. chips are eaten. water is brought. Jenni's okay.

Eric comes over, and drives me and Tony back to Eastown. there, we part ways, agreeing to meet at Cristal's later. i am mad fucked up now.

Tony heads out, i lie on the ground and trip.

fucking amazing shit do i see. music videos in my head. awesome music that hasn't been written yet. very confused.

i head over to Cristal's. halfway there, i run into Tony and some ugly bitch. he says Theresea is mad at us for sleeping in her van and we go to Wilcox instead.

there i lie on the ground and be confused.

eventually, we head over to Cristal's. Cristal is still not home, Andy is. we sit on the porch for a while. Peter comes over. Peter then waits with us for Cristal. Tony leaves. Cristal gets home with Rita.

she's mad at me for something, i think for not being home. then we go inside, she finds out i'm on DXM.

all people talk for a while. more people come over. joints are rolled and smoked. alcohol is purchased and imbibed. bowls are packed and smoked. all are very high. Theresea gets silly.

it is decided that Andy and i will sleep in Theresea's van. it is so comfortable. we get up yesterday, and go inside. breakfasts are had. things are discussed.

Cristal and i get into emotional discussion. tears are cried. hugs are had. we feel better. Cristal decides that i am not as fine as i claim to be and refuses to allow me to leave because of bad weather.

i sleep on the couch. while i'm sleeping, Cristal watches me with a video camera. i wake up briefly and she offers to show me the tape. i decline and go back to sleep.

morning comes. stressful. walk to place for coffee with Andy. smoke pot with friend. stoned. i go to library and type this entry. now i will go back over this entry and divide it into paragraphs for conveniences sake.

now that was fucking confusing. i am so high. i spit it the face of god.

i'm still horny as fuck.

2003-05-09T09:57:00.000-04:00

spent last night with my stupid friends. snuck them into my stupid house so they'd have some stupid place to sleep. we got some stupid food, but not enough, never enough. now we're downtown, trying to get some stupid money so we can get more stupid food and some stupid alcohol and drugs. we like stupid drugs.

think i'm going to start doing DXM (dextromethorphan) again. going to try and stay with jenni for a couple days so we can hang out and get fucked up. i like getting fucked up.

speaking of getting fucked, i didn't. i was with this friend, right? we're going through the motions, then her mom came home. MOTHERFUCKIN' DENIED! do you have any idea what that is like? cause you know, she got fingered and shit, but i got nothing. i mean, sure, i got to play with her tits and all, but it's not the same.

anyways, it's friday, so the goal is to get drunk. really drunk. like an irishman on cinco de mayo. or a depressed lemming even.

i'm so lonely i could vomit.

2003-05-06T10:41:00.000-04:00

i hate rabid wombats. they smell like old cheese.

today sucks. i want to go home and sleep, but i can't because my fat uncle is at my house and he has prostate cancer. that part about the prostate cancer really isn't important, i just felt like mentioning it.

anyways, i'm spending today with a homeless friend on the run from the police. so, the question is, should i turn him in and see if there's a reward? i think the answer is yes, but seeing as he's watching over my shoulder, i don't think i'll do anything, because he could probably kick my ass.

i haven't done any drugs in so long. i miss them. they're like old friends you haven't seen in a while. old friends that always get you in trouble, but also bring giant chickens and pink walruses.

i think the walrus and the carpenter is about today's lack of morality. everyone talks about how they love everyone else, but in the end, we're all eating oysters. big. honkin. oysters.

anyways, i took a shit a little bit ago. i know it was the right thing to do but now i feel empty. empty like a liars mouth.

so long and thanks for all the shoes.

2003-05-02T14:12:00.000-04:00

pre-made templates, a free server, a fake name, new email address. wow, talk about safe-sex. i might as well wear a full-body condom and run through downtown new york screaming at the top of my lungs and throwing pudding cups at whores. in fact, that sounds fun.

at this point, i would like to express my intense dislike for the world and all of its ugly inhabitants. something like 70% of americans are obese. a hungry man breakfast contains 2,500 calories. people are getting uglier and uglier, and do you know why? because of plastic surgery. think about it. ugly person is born. no one likes ugly person. ugly person cannot get laid. more ugly genes die out. but, once you throw plastic surgery into the mix, it goes like this: ugly person born. no one likes ugly person. ugly person sublimates hatred for world into schoolwork, eventually becoming highly paid ugly executive. highly paid ugly executive goes to plastic surgeon, becomes pretty. now good looking ugly executive gets mad pussy.

now, mostly it seems okay. then though, you have to consider the fact that even though the former ugly person has now become an attractive highly paid executive, their genes are still ugly. so what happens? UGLY BABIES, MILLIONS OF UGLY BABIES. eventually, ugly people become so common, that no one wants to have sex. when that happens, the world is doomed. and all because of a few surgeons. stupid surgeons. i hit you with big rock. squishy.

i get hit on all the time, but i think they're just after my money.

2003-05-02T14:03:00.000-04:00

it's been a long time since i've wasted my time like this. just felt like getting back into the swing of things. so, here i sit at a library computer with a busted spacebar, hating the world in silence.

I HEREBY CONTEND THAT ALL OF REALITY IS AN ILLUSION, GENERATED BY THE GOVERNMENT TO TRICK US INTO REVEALING OUR DEEPEST SECRETS!!! or not, whatever you choose to believe. still, it's an interesting concept. if everything you ever knew was a lie, would you be able to distinguish truth?

i take back the silently part. this keyboard makes mad noise. it's like i have crabs.